Depending on how you define prostitution, there is very little of it actually inside the dance halls. What does go on: very, very suggestive dancing. Very obvious grinding, although some girls don't grind much at all and others will do fairly heavy grinding, and a lot of touchy-feely things, both on the dance floor and in the semi-dark TV rooms. On the dance floor some girls will give obvious signals like deep grinding or grabbing your crotch. Time to go to the TV room! At clubs like LA Grand where a lot of grinding goes on, condoms are a must.

Depending on the girl, mileage can be comparable to what’s available at clubs like Jet Strip, Valley Ball, Blue Zebra, Déjà Vu North Hollywood, etc., but you shouldn't expect City of Industry type mileage. Generally speaking the more intimate the contact, the less prevalent the activity. Basically when referring to mileage I’m only talking about what’s possible with most “action girls,” as opposed to most hostesses in general, and the action girls are usually a minority segment of the clubs’ rosters (my best guess is anywhere from 10 to 50 percent, depending on the club).

In trying to get action inside a club, the hardest part is to judge which girls are action girls and which are not. In general look for girls who are dressed more provocatively than average, although than can often be just a come-on.

Before you do any dancing, hang out for a while and try to get a feel for the place. Then pick a girl who looks enticing (but not one of the “trophy girls”) and take her for a 10-minute “test drive.” Try to dance as close as possible and see how she reacts. If she backs you away, doesn’t grind, doesn’t touch you in a sensual manner, or moves your hands away when you go for below the waist access (I mean her ass, not the kitty) it usually means she’s a no-action girl. Just to be sure, ask her what her policy is as far as guys touching her. If she says certain parts of her body are off limits, you know what you need to know.

If she won’t do anything on the dance floor chances are she won’t do anything on the couches either. An exception to this may be a girl who otherwise wouldn’t object (with you, anyway ) who won’t get nasty on the dance floor because “if someone else sees me letting you do that they’ll want to do it too.” One important point I want to make: hostess girls do not think of themselves as prostitutes! Don't make the mistake of treating them like one.

If your girl turns out to be a bust, use this time to check out which other girls are grinding or letting their customers’ hands roam freely. Watch which girls leave the dance floor and head for the TV room -- and which ones head back to the time clock after less than 10-15 minutes dancing (usually not a good sign!). If you see girls sitting on the couches for long stretches of time without being clocked in, that’s also not a good sign – especially if they’re very attractive. Also, pay close attention to couples when they come to clock out. Notice if the customer tips the girl after paying the bill or not. If he doesn't tip her and she doesn't seem pissed, it means he already tipped her at the couches. I don't know how true it is, but some guys I know have a theory that girls who like to take their tips before clocking out are more likely to provide mileage.

When it becomes apparent a girl isn’t going to provide what you’re looking for, cut your losses. Remember that there's only a 10-minute minimum, so don't be reluctant to clock a girl out. If you spend 10 minutes or less with her it is not inappropriate to not give a tip and you shouldn’t feel bad about it (I’m not saying you shouldn’t give a tip, just that you shouldn’t feel obligated to). She can’t really squawk because the most she could have realistically expected was $5. If you do this with several girls in a row, however, it could cause other girls to suspect that you’re a cop. LE's MO is to check out many ladies and quickly return them if they don't say something incriminating.

Sometimes it will take more than 10 minutes to determine if you’ve got an action girl, but if you reach the 30-minute mark without getting some clear cut indication from her that she’s willing to play, you should end the session forthwith. In this case, as long as she was reasonably pleasant, give her as minimal a tip as you possibly can without feeling like an asshole (I usually give $15). As you get more experience under your belt, you should be able to tell what kind of girl you’re dealing with within the first 10-15 minutes.

BTW, don’t bother emailing me asking for tips on which girls are good or which clubs are best for mileage. Unless I know you, I’m not going to tell you. If you find that you’re just not having good luck in picking action girls, try talking to some of the other customers. If you go to a given club frequently enough you’ll see a lot of the same, familiar faces. Just strike up a conversation with one of them, but in the beginning you should only make idle chitchat. Once you become a familiar face they should feel more at ease with you and be more open to sharing information with you.

If you’re starting to get the idea that the pursuit of a good time in a hostess club is more involved than in a strip club, you’re right. In the beginning it’s largely a process of trial and error and in some cases luck. If you can talk a good rap, you’ve got a leg up on everyone else.

Depending on how often you go, you can expect your learning curve to last anywhere from several weeks to several months. It’s like that old adage, you have to walk before you can run and you have to crawl before you can walk. This process tends to weed out the thrill seekers and those who aren’t serious about hostess clubs.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that the FAQ is not intended to be a comprehensive "how to" manual on getting action, but merely a basic primer on hostess clubs. There is no way I can cover every possible scenario you might encounter in the clubs or how to deal with them. At the end of the day, you'll just have to learn by doing.